Super Tin Mario
by Crazy Koopa
Summary: The fourth stupid installment! Only Mr. L doesn't exist...
1. Prologue

Super Tin Mario

Once upon a time, there was a mysterious book of prophecies. Many people craved to look into its contents, but nothing good came from reading it. It was later called, "The Dark Prognosticus". But this book was lost later by some idiot. But eventually, a new owner found it… and started the prophecy… or something like that…

The story begins in the Mario Bros. house.

Mario: Yeah I'm bored.

Luigi: Me too…

Mario: Ok, now I… AHHH!!!

Mario trips over the table.

Luigi: MARIO!

Mario: …Ow!

Luigi: …Why did you say … then ow?

Mario: …I don't know… Let's go to Peach's Castle!

Mario and Luigi leave the house. Then a car appears and runs over Mario…

Mario: OW!!!

Toad: MOVE IT!

Luigi: …How did you get a car through the warp pipe?

Toad: Oh I didn't! I built a road to your house awhile back!

Mario and Luigi: WHAT!?!?!

Suddenly cars appear and they all crash into the Mario Bros.' House.

Mario and Luigi: …WE'RE GOING TO SUE!

A whole lot of lawsuits later…

In prison…

Toad: Peach has been kidnapped again!

Mario: Again!?

Luigi: I think Bowser did it. Let's go!

Mario and Luigi try to leave, but forget their behind bars.

Toad: …I still don't know why they arrested you guys…

Mario and Luigi pull out spoons from their pockets and dig their way to Bowser's Castle.

Bowser: ALL RIGHT! TODAY THE KOOPA TROOP WILL RULE! …I hope…

Koopa Troop: YAY! GO BOWSER! WE'RE UNDER ATTACK! GO BOWSER! SERIOUSLY! GO AWAY! YOU STINK!

Bowser: Bwahaha! "We're under attack!" and "I stink!" You guys are the best jokers in the world!

Koopa Troop: NO REALLY! WE'RE UNDER ATTACK! AND WE REALLY DO THINK YOU STINK!

Bowser: Right… HEY! WHO ARE THOSE TWO GUYS WITH THE HAIRY LIPS!? WE SHAVE! Wait… we never have hair to shave in the first place…

Koopa Troop: But you have hair…

Bowser: …

Luigi: We're here for the princess!

Bowser: Wha? I was just about to kidnap her! …Ok so I wasn't this time since I just wanted to go after the Mushroom Kingdom this time.

Mario: Wait if you didn't kidnap the princess, then who did?

???: BLEH HEH HEH HEH HEH BLECK! Cough

A mysterious guy in white appears with the princess.

Peach: HELP!

Mysterious Guy: GAH! How many times does Count Bleck have to tell you, shouting, "HELP!" never works in 100 million years! Yelled Count Bleck… cough yelling always hurts Count Bleck's throat…

Peach: …

Mysterious Guy: Now… eh? Why is Count Bleck's name Mysterious Guy? Asked Count Bleck…

Oops, sorry…

Count Bleck: Much better! Now I have come for YOU Bowser!

Bowser: WHAT!?!?!?

Mario: PRINCESS!

Mario attempts to jump on Bleck, but gets blocked by Bleck's barrier.

Count Bleck: Count Bleck laughs at your pitiful attempt to stop Count Bleck! Now Count Bleck shall make his leave! Says Count Bleck…

Luigi: WOULD YOU STOP SPEAKING IN THE THIRD PERSON!?!?!??

Count Bleck: NEVAHS! YELLED COUNT BLECK! Cough

Count Bleck waves his staff and makes a vortex appear which attacks Mario. Then Count Bleck summons another vortex that sucks in Bowser, Peach, the Koopa Troop, and Luigi.

Later…

Peach: Ugh… where am I?

Count Bleck: Getting married of course! Says Count Bleck…

Bowser: Yeah! To me!

Peach: No.

Count Bleck: TOO BAD! Yelled Count Bleck… cough

Bowser: Yeah!

Count Bleck: Bowser, king of evil and other stuff like that, do you take Princess Peach to be your lawfully wedded wife 'til your games be over? Asked Count Bleck…

Bowser: OH $$ YEAH!

Count Bleck: Same to you Princess. Asked Count Bleck…

Peach: No.

Then another person appears.

Other Person: Yeah um I can't have you do that to the count 'K? So I guess I have to use my brainwashing power, which I completely don't know how I got… and wasn't I supposed to appear earlier?

Other Person…

Other Person: Um, yeah my name is Nastasia. 'K?

Ok then, Nastasia makes red squares appear around Peach.

Peach: EEK! …I…do… not…

Everyone: …

Nastasia: …

Peach: …just…kidding…

Count Bleck: She said it! Said Count Bleck…

Peach: …about…just… kidding …

Everyone: …

Nastasia: …I'll use more power…'K?

Peach: …I…do…

Count Bleck: She said it! …Again! Yelled Count Bleck. THIS TIME IT BETTER BE REAL! YELLED COUNT BLECK!

Peach: …Yes…it…is…this…time… Please insert 5 coins if you wish to continue.

Everyone: …

Then an earthquake appears.

Count Bleck: YES! AS FORETOLD IN THE PROPHECY! THE CHAOS HEART HAS BEEN UNLEASHED! Cough Hack

Nastasia: Um, yeah, that's great count… and also, I'll be getting your lozenge.

Then Luigi appears.

Luigi: Time for Luigi to save the day!

Nastasia: NO! DON'T DO THAT! 'K?

Luigi jumps on Bowser and the Chaos Heart!

Nastasia: OH NO! …Wait… why do I even care?

Luigi: I did it! Huh?

Chaos Heart: HOW DARE YOU! I SHALL KILL YOU ALL NOW!

The Chaos Heart explodes, but Count Bleck and Nastasia are still there, but everyone else is not.

Count Bleck: Hmm… that was weird. Says Count Bleck…

Nastasia: Yeah um… let's go. 'K?

Count Bleck: Good call said Count Bleck.

Count Bleck and Nastasia flip and disappear.

Back in Bowser's Castle…

???: …ario…

Mario: …

???: …Mario…

Mario: …

???: OH FOR THE LOVE OF DAD! WAKE UP!

Mario: Huh?

Butterfly: You're alive!

Mario: Are you a talking butterfly?

Butterfly: No. I'm a Pixl named Tippi!

Mario: Ok.

Tippi: We're going!

Tippi transports Mario and herself to the town of Flipside.

Wizard Guy: Excellent Tippi! I'm Merlon!

Mario: …I know about 10 other Merlons…

Merlon: …I'm the most important Merlon of all. Now this is a Pure Heart!

Mario: It's shiny!

Merlon: You are the hero of the Light Prognosticus! So go and find the Heart Pillar so you can enter the first world!

Mario: Why do I have to go on this quest?

Merlon: Look up in the sky…

Mario looks up.

Mario: WHAT IS THAT!?!?!

Merlon: A void. It'll destroy all worlds unless you stop Count Bleck.

Mario: That ugly bird up there is a void that can destroy all worlds?

Merlon: …I mean the big round purple thing up there!

Mario: Oh. Ok… and I need another reason on why to save the world…

Merlon: I'm lazy!

Mario: …

Mario goes to the left, but he doesn't know that they were on top of Flipside Tower, so he falls next to the Heart Pillar.

Mario: Ow…

Tippi: Put the Pure Heart in!

Mario puts the Pure Heart in and the red door to some world appears.

Mario: How do we get back up?

Tippi: Well we…

Mario: Wait! I'll just climb up!

Tippi: But…

Mario starts climbing.

Tippi: …

Hours later…

Mario: Gasp So tired…

Mario finally gets to the top and finds Tippi.

Mario: How did you get up here so fast? YOU USED YOUR WINGS, DIDN'T YOU!?

Tippi: No, I used the elevator.

Mario: …

Merlon: …Enter the door. And also, take this Return Pipe, because I know how lazy you are. Also, bring Tippi, she can tell you where the Pure Heart is.

Mario: Ok… AND I'M NOT LAZY!

Merlon and Tippi: LIAH!

Mario and Tippi enter the red door.

Meanwhile…

Count Bleck: Count Bleck's Minions! Come forth!

O'Chunks: Gosh count! We were here the whole time!

Dimentio: Yes it's true!

Count Bleck: …Anyways, Count Bleck is now closer to destroying all worlds!

O'Chunks: That's just super count!

Dimentio: Yes it is!

???: SORRY I'M LATE!

Dimentio: …He was the only one who wasn't here.

O'Chunks appears from the sky.

O'Chunks: WHAT!? How'd I beat myself here!? …If that's even possible… and how did I fall from the sky? And what happened to my accent?

O'Chunks: Mimimimimimimimimi O'Chunks, you are silly!

O'Chunks turns into Count Bleck.

"Count Bleck": I can't believe that you were late though! That's just not right!

O'Chunks: HEY!!! You can't fool me Mimi! And also, you can't go around borrowing the count's face! Because that's just unnatural… and the only reason I'm late is because that little weirdo there took my shoes!

Dimentio: I only took your boots to counter the smell of Mimi's stupid perfume!

Mimi: WHAT!? THAT WAS YOU!?!? I'M GONNA SUE YOU DIMENTIO!!!

Dimentio: For what?

Mimi: What you did!

Count Bleck: Eh, Count Bleck does not care. Said Count Bleck…

"Count Bleck" turns into Peach.

"Peach": You're the best count! Hanging out with you is my idea for a perfect world! …Not really actually…

Dimentio: Yeah because Mimi's perfect world was a gem-filled pool with hunky lifeguards… with some chocolates in the shape of little hearts and have peace, tranquil quality time eating gourmet food breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, and brunch, with each meal having a different kind of light dipping sauce everyday…

"Peach" turns into Bowser.

"Bowser": HAVE YOU BEEN READING MY DIARY AGAIN DIMENTIO!?!?!?!

Dimentio: Maybe… maybe not…

"Bowser" transforms into Mimi

Mimi: Oh, ok then. Shouldn't I stay transformed as Bowser?

Count Bleck: …You all know Count Bleck is still here… said Count Bleck…

Count Bleck's Minions: Sorry count! …NOT!

Count Bleck: …Eh, Count Bleck will still (not) make all your dreams come true if this plan works! But we need to follow the Dark Prognosticus to do it! (Stupid little ingrates of minions…)

Nastasia: Um count, yeah someone did something about dimensions. I'm thinking it's the hero in the prophecy… but that's just a guess… I mean it could actually be the pizza guy…

Count Bleck: WHAT!??! A PIZZA GUY!? Yelled Count Bleck… Cough Hack

Nastasia: Or the hero…

Count Bleck: Oh… that's not as bad as the pizza guy, said Count Bleck.

Nastasia: I'm pretty sure… not really…

O'Chunks: COUNT BLECK! Will you let me go and get chunky with this hero you're going on about?

Count Bleck: …Wait… what did you say? I can never understand you… wait, how can I not understand you in the first place?

O'Chunks: OO

Mimi: I'll put up the subtitles.

O'Chunks: NOOOOOOOO!!!

"COUNT BLECK! Will you let me go and get chunky with this hero you're going on about? OO"

Count Bleck: Oh, ok.

O'Chunks: …Ok! CHUNKS AWAY! …AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

O'Chunks falls off his platform, which happens to be VERY high up from the ground.

O'Chunks: I'm ok! I fell on my spleen!

Dimentio: I think I'll be heading out myself… mostly because I'm bored and I think these meetings are stupid, especially you count.

Dimentio disappears.

Count Bleck: …

Mimi: I'm hungry…

Count Bleck: BLEH HEH HEH HEH HEH BLECK! Let's see that hero deal with O'Chunks! …I'm hungry too.

Nastasia: I'll get the Cake Mix…

Mimi and Count Bleck:D

Mimi: Wait… why is the author trying to send another FF if Tin Mario: The Thousand-Year Door isn't done?

Count Bleck: No clue said Count Bleck.

Mimi: WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP SPEAKING IN THE THIRD PERSON!?

…What? Is it against the rules for me to not ask questions? Next chapters: Chapter 1: Merlee's Mansion.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1-1: Bogging to Merlee's

The land starts drawing itself to resemble some place that looks like it'll never become morning or night ever. Oh and is in a swamp.

Mario: Where are we?

Tippi: Isn't it obvious!?

Mario: No…

Tippi: … Gloam Valley.

Mario: Oh.

Mario and Tippi continue on and beat up some monsters and get some coins. Then Mario and Tippi come across a large hole with water in it.

Mario: AHH! We can't continue!

Tippi: …

Mario: …

Then out of strange randomness, stairs appear.

Mario: …

Mario and Tippi continue on and somehow manage to get into a pipe with Squiglets in it.

Squiglets: OINK!

Mario jumps on all of them and takes the key from the box that appeared. Mario and Tippi continue on and enter a field with those windmill things.

Mario: What do I do here? I need to float or something!

Then by luck, a random Tweester appears, catches Mario, and tosses him to the pipe above the door he just exited.

Mario: …

Mario and Tippi continue on and find a switch that makes a door appear. Mario and Tippi go back and enter the door and find some brick blocks and a ? Block. Mario hits the ? Block and grabs a Mega Star.

Tippi: You're invincible now! Now get a move on slacker!

Mario runs across while killing enemies and destroying blocks until he gets to the end, which also made him lose his Mega Star power. Mario and Tippi enter the door, bop another ? Block, and grab the Slow Flower in it.

Tippi: Yooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuussssssssssssssssssssstttttttttttttttttttttttttttt grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeddddddddddddd aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Slllllllllllllllllllllllllllllloooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwww Fllllllllllllllloooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!

Mario: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll………………..

I'm not affected luckily! Mario and Tippi continue on and Mario and Tippi then enter the nearest pipe out of boredom. Inside Mario gets confused.

Mario: I'm confused.

I just said that!

Mario: Sorry…

Tippi: There is an invisible block!

Mario: …

Mario jumps around and finally hits the invisible block, then enters the pipe that appeared only to find a Growmeba.

Growmeba: DIE!

The Growmeba multiplies himself too much and eventually runs out of air because the real one was buried under a lot of clones. A big Treasure Box appears and Mario opens it.

Bomb Thing: BOOM! I'm Boomer the Pixl! BOOM!

Mario: Boomer?

Boomer: Yes Boomer! BOOM! I will join you if you answer my question! BOOM!

Mario: Ok.

Boomer: BOOM! What is ……………………..? Well? BOOM?

Mario: OO I didn't even hear the question!

Boomer: BOOM! That's right! BOOM! I'm joining you!

Boomer the Bomb Pixl joined the party! It's pretty obvious on what he does…

Boomer: Let's go! BOOM! I'm over 1500 Years old and I'm tired of waiting! BOOM!

Mario: OO

Mario and Co. (This early!?) continue on and find 4 doors.

Tippi: Enter the last or I'll kill you both!

Mario and Boomer: O.O

Mario and Co. enter and find nothing.

Mario and Boomer: …

Tippi: …

Then out of more strange randomness, a rock falls on the switch under the floor Mario and Co. are on.

RUMBLE! RUMBLE! RUMBLE!

Mario: What was that?

Boomer: I don't know! BOOM!

Mario and Co. exit and find a 5th door and enter it. Mario and Co. enter and find the Star Block and exit the level.

END OF CHAPTER 1-1!

Chapter 1-2: Tricks, Treats, Traps

Mario and Co. are standing outside a huge Mansion.

Tippi: Enter and find Merlee!

Mario: I know about 10 other Merlees!

Tippi: Find Merlee or I'll kill you both!

Mario and Boomer: O.O

Mario and Co. enter the mansion and see 2 Gnips.

Gnips: BARK!

Mario: Wow! Another pet that can bark and isn't a Chain Chomp!

The Gnips try and grab Mario with their teeth, but Mario jumps over them and enters the next room. There he sees a green girl wearing a maid outfit.

Mimi: Well hi there! Big welcome! I'm the maid around here! My name's Mimi! But you don't call me Mimikins or else!!

Mario: Why?

Mimi: In demonic voice BECAUSE I'LL KILL YOU IF YOU DO!!!!!!!

Mario: O.O

Mimi: Now are you here to see Merlee?

Mario: Yup!

Mimi: How super of you! Now go to the last room upstairs to find a trap- I mean Merlee!

Mario: Oo? …Ok…

Mario and Co. go to the room and find a button.

Tippi: Push the button or I'll kill you both!

Mario and Boomer: Seriously, that's getting old.

Mario pushed the button, and the windows close.

Tippi: LOOK WHAT YOU DID! I TOLD YOU NOT TO PUSH THAT BUTTON!

Mario: But you told me to push the button you idiot!

Tippi: LIAH!!!

Then the ceiling starts falling.

Mario and Co.: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

???: CHUNKS AWAY!

O'Chunks lands on the spiked ceiling and breaks it because he made it split in half.

O'Chunks: Now I… wait… this isn't the place I fight you!

O'Chunks leaves.

Mario: O…k…

Mario goes to where O'Chunks made the hole and gets on top of the ceiling… which technically makes it the floor…

Mario: Hey! A key!

Mario jumps up to it. How he got past this part without being in 3-D. we'll never know.

Mario: Hmm…

Mario and Co. leave the room and go back to Mimi.

Mimi: What? Merlee wasn't there? Well all I know is, she is NOT behind the locked door downstairs!

Mario: …

Mario approaches that door but…

Gnaw: BARK! BARK!

Mario: Meep!

Mario runs away.

Boomer: …

Mario comes back and jumps over it.

Mario: Forgot about the lock…

Mario unlocks the door and…

Gnaw: BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!

Mimi: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!

Mimi runs away with Gnaw running after her.

Mario: Huh???

Tippi: I don't get it…

Mario and Co. continue and hit the Star Block in the next room.

END OF CHAPTER 1-2!

Chapter 1-3: Breaking the Bank

Mario and Co. are now in another part of the mansion and find a vase on a ? Block.

Mario: Oo?

Mario hits the ? Block and the vase breaks…

Mario: Uh oh…

Mimi: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! YOU DOOFUS!!! YOU BROKE MY MOST PRIZED VASE!!! THAT VASE WAS MY LIFE!!! AND YOU BROKE IT!!!

Mario: Uhh… sorry?

Mimi: In even more demonic voice then last time SORRY DOESN'T CUT IT BUB! THAT VASE COSTS 1,000,000 RUBEES! HAND OVER THE CASH!

Mario: What's a rubee?

Mimi: …

Tippi: We have coins!

Mimi: Then put them out in your hand.

Mario puts his coins in his hands. Mimi then spits on them.

Mimi: I spit on your coins! In the same demonic voice from a few lines ago YOU'D BETTER BE PAYING ME BACK OR ELSE I'LL KILL YOU!!!

Mario and Co.: OO

Mimi: In sweet voice So you can like earn rubees by doing some jobs here.

Mario: Why do we have to work for you?

Mimi: In demonic voice again… UNTIL YOU PAY ME BACK YOU PEASENTS, YOU'RE MY SLAVES!!!!!!!!!

Mario: OO

Mimi leaves.

Mario: …

Mario and Co. then go upstairs and somehow float over the pit and go through a wall and find a random big treasure box.

Mario: Oo?

Mario opens it.

???: Know the secret…?

Another Pixl appears out of it.

Pixl: CAUSE I KNOW A GOOD SECRET! BUT FIRST I NEED TO STRETCH!

Mario: Why?

Pixl: Do you know what being in a treasure box for 1500 years can do? Now… ONE! TWO! PI! RTUKBKSGBJUBUKGBJDFKGBJKSDFBG!! 1 MARZILLION! 3 MARZILLION! 6 FDOIHNDIVNZILLION! THREE! TEN! There! I counted all the way to 10!

Mario: That's not how you count to 10…

Pixl: Eh… I'm Slim by the way, and I'll be joining you!

The Thin Pixl, Slim has joined you! You can do that thin curse from Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door now!

Mario: Now how do we get out?

Then the wall explodes.

Mario: …

Mario enters a random door.

Prisoner: HEY! YOU WANT TO KNOW A SECRET!?

Mario: Will it give me 1,000,000 Rubees?

Prisoner: I think so…

Mario: Then tell me!

Prisoner: Ok, I heard Mimi say this: 41262816! What do you think it means?

Mario: Phone number?

Prisoner: I think so… must be her nonexistent boyfriend!

Mimi enters.

Mimi: In that same demonic voice I HEARD THAT GERBIL! NOW YOU HAVE TO PAY ME DOUBLE!!!

Prisoner: Aww…

Mario: OO

Mario and Co. leave and find the safe guarded by electric traps.

Mario: Maybe I should try it… SLIM!

Mario turns paper thin. The electric fence then passes through Mario and he gets to the safe.

Safe: Please insert code:

Mario: 41262816?

Safe: Correct! Now…

The safe opens to… another safe…

Other Safe: Please insert serial number:

Mario: OO

After a LOT of guessing, Mario finally opens the safe to… another safe…

Another Safe: Please insert zip code:

Mario: OO

After even more guessing, Mario finally opens the safe to… 999,999 Rubees!

Mario: Dang! 1 short!

Then a random rubee appears.

Mario: …Now I have 1,000,000!

Mario and Co. go to Mimi.

Mimi: Welcome to Rubee Savings and Loans! What may I take from you today?

Mario: My deposit!

Mimi: That's just super now… you owe… … …?

Mario: Huh?

Mimi: WHAT?!?!?!? HOW CAN YOU HAVE ENOUGH RUBEES!!?!??!?!? THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! YOU RUINED MY CURSE TOO! AND I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT KIND OF CURSE!!!

Mimi explodes.

Mario: …O…k…

The Star Block appears.

Mario: SLIM!

Mario goes through the bars and hits the Star Block.

END OF CHAPTER 1-3!

Chapter 1-4: The Basement Face-Off

Mario and Co. appear in Merlee's Basement…

Mario: Now what?

Then a blurry image of Merlee appears.

Merlee: I am Merlee! Merlee is me!

Mario: What?

Merlee: I like to rhyme, and don't get a dime!

Mario: Ok…

Merlee: Find me but beware, watch out for Mimi if you dare!

Mario: Why?

Merlee: She can transform herself into anything like a Boo! Now hurry up and find me before I kill you!

Mario and Co.: OO

Mario and Co. go through Merlee's Mazelike Basement… but get hopelessly lost…

Tippi: HA! I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD GO THROUGH THAT DOOR!

Mario: No you didn't!

Tippi: SILENCE, NONBELIEVER!

Mario: …

Mario and Co. continue and somehow make it to Merlee.

Merlee: You want the Pure Heart?

Mario: Yes!

Merlee: In demonic voice THEN GIVE ME 100,000,000 RUBEES!

Mario: No.

Merlee: Dang! That usually works!

Merlee transforms into Mimi.

Mimi: Golly! You must've had your thinking cap on! But too bad that didn't help! Real Mimi! Come Forth!

Mimi cracks her neck and eventually turns her head upside down and turns into a spider…

Mimi: MIMIMIMIMIMIMIMIMIMIMIMIMIMIMIMI!!!

Merlee's blurry image appears.

Merlee: RUN YOU FOOLS! LIKE BANDITS WITH JEWELS!

Mario and Co. run like fools like Bandits with Jewels to the exit.

Mario: That was too close!

Tippi: Wimp!

Mimi appears.

Tippi: HOLD ME!

Mario and Co. run for their lives… and go through walls too… but they don't realize it…

Mario and Co.: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Mario and Co. eventually make it to the bathrooms somehow… and Mario accidentally runs into the Women's Bathroom.

???: Who's there? I'm in the 4th stall!

Mario: Eww…

Mario opens the door to that stall.

Merlee: Thank you! Now that you saved me, I don't have to kill you!

Mario: Hooray!

Mimi: MIMIMIMIMIMIMIMIMIMI

Mimi transforms in a blinding light and now there are 2 Merlees.

Merlee 1: STOP BEING ME! WE KNOW YOUR MIMI!

Merlee 2: YOU LIE YOU FAT COW! YOU GO NOW!

Merlee 1: BIG PIG!

Merlee 2: CHOW COW!

The Merlees attack each other.

Merlees: This is going nowhere! Pick the right one Mario and don't be like a dumb hare! IT'S ON CON!

BOOM!

InterNed: Bonjour! I'm the InterNed! Behold my powers! Ask the Merlees 5 questions!

Mario: Ok! Here are my questions:

What are you interested in?

What is your favorite animal?

What is the best food?

When is your birthday?

What is the best smell?

Merlee 1:

Crystal Balls

Bear cubs

Strawberries

March 25th

Fresh air

Merlee 2:

Watching reruns of Super Ultra Goomba Bros.

Demons

Tangerines

May 5th

Old cheese

Mario: Cheese!? It has to be Merlee 2!

InterNed: That's… WRONG!

Lightning blasts Mario.

Merlee: …

Mimi: MIMIMI! Golly you sure are stupid! Now to kill you!

Mimi transforms into her spider form.

Mimi: Time to finish you!

Merlee runs away.

Merlee: Rah!

PING!

Mario and Mimi: OO

Mario: …

Mario jumps on Mimi.

Mimi: OW! My power is gone!

Merlee: This isn't a regular cheer! You can attack her now dear!

Mimi: EEEEK!

Mario jumps on Mimi again.

Mimi: 5/6 Legs

Mimi: DOOFUS! You made me lose one of my legs!

Mario: …Eww…

Mimi: Golly! That gives me another reason to kill you!

Mimi shoots rubees at Mario.

Mario: Ow!

Mario: 9/10HP

Mario jumps on Mimi 2 more times.

Mimi: 4/6 Legs

Mimi: Gosh you're persistent! Oh well, I'll kill you for real this time!

Mario jumps on Mimi 2 more times.

Mimi 3/6 Legs

Mimi: …

Mario: Ha!

Mimi shoots more rubees at Mario.

Mario: 8/10HP

Mario jumps on Mimi 2 more times.

Mimi: 2/6 Legs

Mimi: UGH! I can't take this anymore!

Mimi makes a rubee wave that crashes into Mario.

Mario: 6/10HP

Mario jumps on Mimi 2 more times.

Mimi: 1/6 Legs

Mimi: EEEEK! I'm losing!

Merlee: You're doing swell! I'm still doing a nice cheery yell!

Mario jumps on Mimi 2 more times.

Mimi: 0/6 Legs!

Mimi: Ow… don't think you've beaten me yet dummies… URK!

Mimi flips out.

Merlee: Good job! You threw a nice lob! Now you must be here for the Pure Heart here! I know because I'm a seer!

Mario: Yes I need the Pure Heart!

Merlee: Here you go! Now there are 4 heroes just so you know…

Mario: Thanks!

YOU GOT A PURE HEART!

END OF CHAPTER 1-4!

Meanwhile…

Count Bleck: What? Even after the power Count Bleck gave Mimi, and that cake, she still lost!? Asked Count Bleck…

Nastasia: Umm… yeah… that's what it said on her memo… actually it said, "I GOT BEATEN BAD!" …Seriously, that's all it says…

Count Bleck: …

Meanwhile…

Peach: Ow… that was one crazy wedding…

Crazy: I agree…

Iggy: My line!

Crazy: Sorry…

Peach: …Anyways, where am I?

Hammer Bro.: Castle Bleck! Now Private Koopa here will help you escape!

Private Koopa: I guess…

Peach and Private Koopa go through a door and find the Hammer Bro. being brainwashed by Nastasia.

Nastasia: Yeah umm get the other prisoners… 'K?

Hammer Bro.: YES MA'AM! HAIL BLECK!

Nastasia: 'K.

Peach: OH NO!

Private Koopa: Yeah!

Peach and Private Koopa continue on but end up on a dead end.

Peach: …

Nastasia appears.

Peach: …I blame you for this Private Koopa…

Private Koopa: How is it my fault!?

Nastasia brainwashes Private Koopa.

Nastasia: Get her, 'K?

Private Koopa: YES MA'AM! HAIL BLECK!

Peach: …Yeah I defiantly blame you Private Koopa…

Then Peach disappears…

Nastasia: …That was not a schedule… but who cares?


	3. Chapter 2

Uhh… this is a little embarrassing… but I forgot to tell you what this chapter is… and say any questions of any kind or tell you I didn't have any questions… please don't tell the author! He'll cut my pay if he knows!

Did I hear you just right!? You forgot to tell the readers where Mario and Co. are going this chapter!? Well you just lost 1 coin in your paycheck!

What!? But I only had 7 coins to begin with. Now I'm getting 6!?

5 coins…

…

Mario and Co. exit the red door. Merlon approaches them.

Merlon: Hola!

Mario: What?

Merlon: Hi!

Mario: Oh…

Merlon: Did you get the Pure Heart from Merlee?

Mario: Yes!

Merlon: Good! Cause a random person fell from the sky and is down one floor! So…

Merlon pushes Mario off the tower.

Mario: AHHHHHHHH!!!

Boomer and Slim: …

Guy: OH NOEZ! ANOTHER PERSON FELL FROM THE SKY LIKE THAT PINK PERSON! I HAVE SPICY SOUP!

Mario: …

Peach: …

Then Merlon and the Pixls fall from the sky and Merlon lands on Peach.

Merlon: See! This person I'm standing on is out cold!

Mario: PEACH!!!

Peach: …

Merlon: …Give her Spicy Soup or I'll kill all 4 of you…

Mario, Tippi, Boomer, and Slim: OO

Guy: I LIKE HAS SPICY SOUP!

The guy feeds Peach the Spicy Soup.

Peach: AHHHHHHH!! MY TONGUE! IT BURNS! IT BURNS!

Mario: …

Mario dumps a random bucket of water at Peach.

Peach: HEY! What was that for!?

Mario: You said your tongue burned…

Peach: No I didn't!

Mario: …

()Later…()

Peach: Hi!

Merlon: You must be the second hero!

Peach: I don't wanna be a hero! I want to be the damsel in the distress!

Merlon: Be a hero, or I'll kill you…

Peach: OO

Merlon: Now…

Merlon kicks Mario and Co. to the second Heart Pillar. Mario puts it in, which makes an orange door appear on the tower, and Tippi uses the Return Pipe and goes to Flipside Tower.

Merlon: WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG!?!?!??!!!!?!?!?

Merlon kicks them through the door.

Chapter 2-1: The Adventure Unfolds

Lineland starts building itself. Then Mario and Co. appear from behind the door that appeared.

Mario: …

Mario and Peach switch… but since that's too confusing, I'll be marking who's in control with an (), because I feel like it, and Shady Parakoopa did it too and it worked.

Shady: No it didn't!

Silence!

4 coins…

What!? Why!?

That wasn't one of your lines… now make it 3 coins…

…

()Peach: Wee!

()Peach floats around with her umbrella and eventually gets to a random house.

()Peach: Who lives there?

Tippi: That's Bestovius' House. Switch to Mario and enter the house, or I'll kill you.

()Peach: OO

()Peach switches with Mario.

()Mario: Who lives there?

Tippi: That's Bestovius' House. Enter the house, or I'll kill you…

()Mario: OO

()Mario and Co. continue on and enter the house and find an invisible door. When they enter, they find some guy floating on a cloud.

Some Guy Floating on a Cloud: YOU ARE A FAKE HERO! YOU MUST DIE AT THE HANDS OF MR. L!

Mr. L is lame! I'm replacing him.

Some Guy Floating on a Cloud: OO Then who's the annoying random bad guy going to be for the Outer Space and Sammer's Kingdom chapters!?

Mr. C!

()Mario: Who the #$$# is Mr. C!?

You'll know in the later chapters.

Everyone: …

Some Guy Floating on a Cloud: Anyways, YOU ARE A FAKE HERO!

()Mario: I am not!

Some Guy Floating on a Cloud: Oh, ok then. I am Bestovius. I shall give you the power of flipping if you pay me 99999999999999999999999999999999999…

10 Hours and 5 Seconds later…

Bestovius: …999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 Coins!

()Mario: OO That's more than Gus tried to make us pay in the prequel!

Bestovius: …Fine… 10 coins.

()Mario: …

Bestovius: Wow you must be poor. For free?

()Mario: Ok.

Bestovius: Here you go!

Bestovius says random magic words and ()Mario learns how to flip into 3-D.

()Mario: …How do I flip?

Bestovius: You use the A Button on this Remote here!

()Mario obtains a Wii Remote!

()Mario: …Thanks?

Bestovius: No problem. Uhh… I guess that means I'm useless now so… COME ORBULON! THERE ARE LIVES TO BE SAVED!

Bestovius hops onto Orbulon's UFO and fly to who-knows-where.

()Mario: …

()Mario and Co. leave and continue through and eventually find a Mega Star.

Tippi: That's a Mega Star! Grab it or I'll kill you.

()Mario: WOULD YOU STOP WITH THE DEATH THREATS!?!?!?!?

Tippi: NEVAH!!!

()Mario grabs the Mega Star, turns into a giant 8-bit character, and kills everything until he gets to the end.

END OF CHAPTER 2-1!

Chapter 2-1: Afoot in the Foothills

()Mario: Where are we now?

Tippi: Mt. Lineland you idiot!

()Mario: …

Tippi: Climb the foothills or I'll send bad people to your house…

()Mario: OO

()Mario and Co. continue up the mountain with minimal pain…

Climbing…

()Mario can be seen trying to jump a gap, but keeps falling in… then later he sees a bunch of blocks that can only be climbed when he's in 3-D…

Spiny Tromps…

Mario can be seen being run over by Spiny Tromps… then he goes into 3-D and… he still is being run over by Spiny Tromps…

()Mario: …

Impasse Pass…

()Mario completely ignores the pipe and tries to go over the gap, but completely forgets about Peach, and eventually gives up and goes to the pipe and into the background. There he goes into a house.

()Mario: Is anyone here?

… … …

()Mario: …

()Mario flips into 3-D and sees a Red Guy…

Red Guy: My names Red! Help me!

()Mario: With what?

Red: I'm stuck in a dimension full of weirdoes like you! It's like… 3-D!!!

()Mario: …

()Mario flips out and Red somehow flips out too…

Red: Thanks! What's your favorite color?

()Mario: RED!

Red: I LIKE RED TOO! WE'RE LIKE BROTHERS! Or maybe twins!

()Mario: …

Red: …Anyways, I'll be lowering the bridge for you.

Red makes a bridge appear over Impasse Pass.

()Mario: Thanks.

()Mario and Co. continue on and enter Yold Town.

Tippi: Blow up that house with this bomb, or I'll kill you!

()Mario: OO

Peach: Those death threats are annoying…

()Mario throws a bomb at the house.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

???: FREEDOM! AT LAST!

It is revealed that a Pixl said that.

Pixl: My names Thoreau! I shall join you!

The throwing Pixl Thoreau has joined the party! He can grab things and let you throw things like you're playing Super Mario Bros. 2 USA Version!

()Mario: USA version?

…The Japanese version is the Lost Levels.

()Mario: Oh.

Peach: Can we move on?

()Mario and Co. randomly go into Old Man Watchitt's house.

Watchitt: WATCH IT!

Peach: Are you the mayor?

Watchitt: WATCH IT!

()Mario: Well?

Watchitt: WATCH IT!

Peach: …

Watchitt: WATCH IT!

Tippi: Stop saying "WATCH IT!" or I'll kill you!

Watchitt: WATCH IT!

Tippi: THAT'S IT!

Tippi throws an axe at Watchitt.

Watchitt: WATCH IT!

Tippi: SHUT UP!

Watchitt: WATCH IT!

Existence: …

Watchitt then calls someone on his cell phone.

Watchitt: WATCH IT!

Green (The person on the phone): You want me to raise the bridge for some random idiot in red, who has a princess with him and a butterfly who tried to kill you? Ok!

Watchitt: WATCH IT!

()Mario: OO

Watchitt: WATCH IT!

Tippi: SHUT UP YOU #$#$#&$!!!

Tippi throws a chainsaw, another axe, and homework at Watchitt.

Watchitt: WATCH IT!

Tippi: …

()Mario and Co. leave and go to Green's House.

Green: Bridge is down. What's your favorite color?

()Mario: Red.

Green: RED!??!?!?!?!?

Green kicks him out so far, that ()Mario and Co. land in Yold Desert… which technically means:

END OF CHAPTER 2-2!

Chapter 2-3: The Sands of Yold

()Mario and Co. wake up under a red tree.

()Mario: OO That guy kicks hard!

Tippi: Jump under this tree 10 times or I'll threaten you again!

()Mario: …

()Mario jumps under the red tree 10 times and a door appears.

()Mario: OO

()Mario and Co. go through the door and find quicksand.

Tippi: Get across the quicksand or else!

()Mario: But I can't!

Tippi: THEN PERISH!

Tippi somehow kicks ()Mario and Co. to that door before O'Chunks.

Peach: …I'm supposed to stick with you guys this entire adventure?

()Mario: Unfortunately…

()Mario and Co. go through the door and find O'Chunks.

O'Chunks: …I just want to fight.

()Mario: Ok.

()Mario: 15/15HP

O'Chunks: 20/20HP

Peach: Say why are the HP things fractions different now?

I dunno. Anyways, we're going back to the battle.

O'Chunks: I got you!

()Mario: …No you got a very angry looking cobra…

Cobra: HISS!

O'Chunks: YARGH!

O'Chunks: 1/20HP

()Mario and Peach: …

Thoreau: Good job! You're doing great!

Tippi: NO HE ISN'T!

Boomer: BOOM! I agree with Thoreau! BOOM!

Slim: Yup!

Tippi: …

O'Chunks: SPARE ME! …AND MY GRAVY!

()Mario: Wait you brought gravy in this battle?

O'Chunks: I always bring gravy to my battles! It does wonders!

O'Chunks pulls out gravy from his pocket…

Everyone: THE STENCH!

()Mario: 1/15HP

Everyone: …

()Mario: …Jump…

O'Chunks: 0/20HP!

O'Chunks: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! …Oh well… I'll get you next time Maria and Petey!

()Mario and Peach: IT'S MARIO AND PEACH!

O'Chunks: Ok Maria and Petey, I only went easy on you because you both look like little girls! CHUNKS AWAY!

O'Chunks flies away.

Peach: …Next time we kill him.

()Mario: Agreed.

()Mario and Co. continue and eventually make it to Yold Ruins.

Peach: How did you know to come here?

()Mario: It's the end of the level.

Peach: Oh.

Random Signpost: PRESS 1 AND – ON YOUR WII REMOTE OR DIE!

()Mario: Great! Now inanimate objects are threatening us!

()Mario presses those buttons and the ruins open.

END OF CHAPTER 2-3!

Chapter 2-4: Monster of the Ruins

Watchitt: WATCH IT!

()Mario: $#$#! That guy from Chapter 2-2 is back! And now he's following us!

Watchitt: WATCH IT!

Peach: …

()Mario and Co. continue on through the ruins. Eventually they make it to a room with 1 locked door and 1 unlocked door.

Peach: What do we do here?

()Mario: I dunno… TO THAT UNLOCKED DOOR!

()Mario and Co. run to the unlocked door and find a room with an unlimited amount of Squiglets coming out of a pipe.

Tippi: T…

()Mario: Throw a Squiglet at that ! Block or I'll kill you. I know…

Tippi: OO

()Mario does just that.

BOOM!

()Mario: …BOOMER!

Boomer: I didn't do it! BOOM!

()Mario: …

()Mario and Co. go back and they notice that the blocks they passed earlier lost a chunk in the center revealing a key.

()Mario: Huh?

I don't know either.

2 Coins…

…Anyways, ()Mario uses Thoreau and grabs the key and goes through the locked door. There, Tippi actually helps for once and reveals an invisible platform to a floating door. Eventually they find another key in another bunch of blocks, only this time Mario flips into 3-D and grabs it. Continuing on, ()Mario and Co. manage to find a trampoline and jump up to the upper level. However, ()Mario jumped too high and crashed through the ceiling, and makes a chunk of the ceiling fall on a switch, which reveals hundreds of Spiky Tromps. Why do I have so much narrating now?

1 Coin…

…Anyways…

()Mario: OH !!!

Watchitt: WATCH IT!

()Mario: …

()Mario runs and finds a red ! Switch and presses it. There, the floor opens and fills that huge hole ()Mario and Co. came from.

()Mario: …At least we can continue on now.

Watchitt: WATCH IT!

()Mario: SHUT THE #$ UP!

Watchitt: WATCH IT!

()Mario: …

()Mario and Co. continue and find 4 floating red blocks, and on the side there are numbers.

Peach: I think you either hit them in order, or that many times.

()Mario: In order!

Bonk! Bonk! Bonk! Bonk!

RUMBLE!

Stairs appear leading to a pipe.

()Mario: Let's go!

()Mario and Co. continue through the pipe, there they find… more desert…

()Mario: …

Watchitt: WATCH IT!

Existence: …

…Anyways…

RUMBLE! RUMBLE!

???: WHO GOES THERE!?!?!

??? reveals to be a giant robot dragon.

Dragon: I AM CALLED FRACKTAIL! WHO THE HECK ARE YOU!?!?!?!

()Mario: Mario.

Fracktail: IDENTIFICATION IN PROGRESS! PLEASE WAIT!

10 hours later…

()Mario and Co.: Zzzzzzzzzzz…

Watchitt: WATCH IT!

Fracktail: IDENTITY CONFIRMED! YOU ARE THE LEGENDARY HERO! GO AND GET THE PURE HEART YOU #$#$ LATE HERO!

()Mario: Ok.

???: NO!

??? reveals himself to be Dimentio.

Dimentio: I am Dimentio! The pleaser of crowds and master of dimensions!

()Mario: Who cares?

Dimentio: No one! That's why I'm making sure Fracktail ends your games!

Dimentio zaps Fracktail's antenna.

Fracktail: BUZZ! CLICK! CTRL ALT DELETE! RUN QUERY! GO AWAY YETI LIP! AND PINKY! AND WATCHITT!

Watchitt: WATCH IT!

Tippi: THAT'S IT!

Tippi throws Watchitt at Fracktail's antenna.

Fracktail: 2/3HP

Everyone: OO

Fracktail: CURSES! YOU HAVE SEEN MY HP!

Fracktail then tries to fly off, but forgets the bottom half of his body is full of sand, making him too heavy to fly off, so he detaches the neck part, but forgets his wings aren't around the neck part of his body.

Everyone: …

()Mario throws 2 Frackles that appeared at Fracktail's antenna.

Fracktail: I APOLOGIZE FOR NOTHING YOU MURDERER!

Fracktail turns into bones and dies. ()Mario and Co. then go through a door that appeared out of nowhere. There, a ghost of what looks like someone related to Merlon appears.

Ghost: Greetings. I'm Merlumina, an ancestor of that Merlon guy that kicked you through the door to this dimension

()Mario: Wow your good. Do you know anything else?

Merlumina: Yes. You're name is Mario, you save the world a lot, you save Princess Peach nearly all the time from Bowser, King of the Koopas, your favorite color is red, and you're here for a Pure Heart… yes?

()Mario: Lady, you are…

Merlumina: Yes I'm good.

()Mario: …

Merlumina: Anyways, I have to tell you the story of the Pure Hearts…

10 Hours later…

Everyone: Zzzzzzzzzzz…

Merlumina: …And that's the story of the Pure Hearts! You got that right?

Everyone: What?

Merlumina: …Anyways, that was the short version. Here's your Pure Heart.

YOU GOT A PURE HEART!

END OF CHAPTER 2-4!

Meanwhile….

Extra period. 0 Coins…

…

Count Bleck: …What does Count Bleck say again?

Nastasia: How the heck should I know? I don't have your script!

Count Bleck: True…

O'Chunks: Can I have another chance?

Count Bleck: …What?

Mimi: I'll put up the subtitles again.

O'Chunks: …

"Can I have another chance? …"

Count Bleck: …No… Count Bleck will send no one for now! Anyways, Count Bleck is going to get a special minion soon…

Nastasia: That was today?

Count Bleck: …

Nastasia: Just kidding.

Everyone: …

Nastasia: …What? Just because I'm a secretary, doesn't mean I don't have a sense of humor?

Nastasia leaves.

Meanwhile…

Luigi: Ow…

Goombas: Come with us!

The Goombas carry Luigi until they get to a dead end.

Luigi: WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO THAT FOR!?!?

Goombas: Because we now hail Bleck!

Nastasia: It's true! Now for you… stay still… 'K?

Nastasia points what looks like a gun at Luigi

I SHALL SAVE YOU LUIGI!

…Apparently the author pushes Luigi out of the way.

Good job! Cause now you have -1 Coins in you paycheck!

What!? How is that a good job!?

Duh! I just made a coin!

BANG!

Nastasia: Oh… oops… uhh… the Count won't like this… anyways, you can dispose of that green guy.

Then Dimentio appears.

Dimentio: I want to do it!

Dimentio kills Luigi and sends him to the Underwhere.

Happies! Now I can have my old paycheck! Anyways…

Why did the author save Luigi? Who'll be the Mr. L now!? Seriously, who'll be the Mr. L now? Find out on Chapter 3: Sammer's Kingdom! Seriously, you'll find out.


	4. Chapter 3

…I don't know what happened to the author, but here's another meeting Count Bleck is having:

Count Bleck: …Send _him_ at them…

Nastasia: You mean the… I mean that Koopa with the mask?

Count Bleck: …What was the, "the" for? Asked Count Bleck…

Nastasia: … I don't know…

Count Bleck: …Well send him…

Mimi: I'm bored!

Count Bleck: Just for that, no one gets to go!

Count Bleck leaves. Dimentio appears.

Dimentio: Who said you need to obey him?

Mimi: No one.

Dimentio: Then you can go out if you want.

Mimi: Hmm… your logic intrigues me Dimentio…

Mimi leaves…

Dimentio: …Good thing I already chatted with the new guy…

Back to ()Mario and Co…

Merlon: What took you so long!?

()Mario: Well…

Merlon: LAME! Because of your lateness, the void has grown!

Merlon kicks ()Mario and Co. all the way to the next Heart Pillar. ()Mario puts it in and another door appears. ()Mario uses the Return Pipe back to Flipside Tower.

Merlon: What took you so long!?

()Mario: Well…

Merlon: LAME!

Merlon kicks them through the door.

Chapter 3-1: Sammer Guy Showdown

The world draws itself and makes a samurai kingdom from the movies appear… with a gigantic void in the background.

Everyone: OH $()$!!!

Tippi: Look what you did! This place is going to be destroyed soon!

()Mario and Peach: How is it our fault!?

Tippi: IT JUST IS!

()Mario and Peach: …

()Mario and Co. continues on and see a guy in green on a stage.

Green Guy: I am Jade Blooper, the Sammer Guy! You wear the clothes of a crazy!

OH #$#$#! YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT!

…

…Huh? I thought the author would blow his top by now, and appear from where he is right now… oh well…

()Mario: …

Jade Blooper: Prepare to die!

Jade Blooper tries to walk to ()Mario, but trips.

Jade Blooper: ()Crying() WAHHHHHH!!!

Everyone: …

A Different Looking Sammer Guy: Hi! I'm King Sammer! I like the way you fight! And those clothes on that pink person look neat! Where did you get them?

Peach: The dress shop?

King Sammer: Oh. Then I have to look at their wares sometime… anyways, for defeating that guy, you get to see the reward for beating the other 99!

()Mario: 99!? Where did you get 99 other Sammer Guys!?

King Sammer: My ancestor had 100 children of course! And they never die!

Everyone: OO

Seriously, that's true. King Sammer the First married Merlumina's younger sister and they had 100 kids. Don't ask.

Everyone: OO

King Sammer: Anyways, here is what the prize is!

King Sammer shows a Pure Heart.

Peach: WE NEED THAT!

King Sammer: Then beat the other 99 Sammer Guys!

King Sammer leaves.

()Mario: … We have a LOT of fighting to do…

()Mario and Co. continue and try to fight, but nearly every Sammer Guy tripped and declared that they lost… and cried… then ()Mario and Co. manage to make it to the Big Sammer Guy.

Big Sammer Guy: I am… uhh… wait… what was my name again? Uhh…

()Mario and Co. walks right past him.

Big Sammer Guy: Uhh… oh yeah! Koopa in Winter! …Dang! They left!

()Mario and Co. eventually meet the Small Sammer Guy in Gate 18.

Small Sammer Guy: I am Hairy Arantula in the Grass…

But since he was too small, ()Mario and Co. just walk right over him, crushing him too.

Hairy Arantula in the Grass: Ow…

()Mario and Co. eventually make it to Gate 20.

Big Sammer Guy: I AM ROLLING THWOMP! I SQUISH YOU!

()Mario: No.

Rolling Thwomp: Aww…

???: STOP THE FIGHTING!

??? reveals himself to be Count Bleck.

Count Bleck: BLECK! Count Bleck says that what you are doing is futile! You shall never reach the Pure Heart in time! The void shall consume this world! Said Count Bleck.

Tippi: World's are living things to you know! They have a heart! Which I'll protect for life!

Count Bleck: …You protect the feeble heart? LAME! Count Bleck scoffs at you! Count Bleck says people should protect the brain! Said Count Bleck!

Tippi: Shut up!

Count Bleck: ()cries() The way you said shut up reminds me of the way Timpani always said shut up!

Count Bleck leaves.

Everyone except Tippi: …

Tippi: …What?

Everyone except Tippi: You acted like you actually cared for everything…

Tippi: …I do why?

Everyone except Tippi: …

Rolling Thwomp: WORLD GO SQUISH SOON! MUST TELL KING!

Rolling Thwomp rolls through the next few gates and crush the next 5 Sammer Guys.

()Mario: …

()Mario and Co. reach the Star Block.

END OF CHAPTER 3-1!

Chapter 3-2: The End of a World

()Mario: …I don't like the chapter title…

King Sammer approaches ()Mario and Co.

King Sammer: Golly! I heard that Count Bleck came to try and stop you!

()Mario: …Ok… why did you talk like that Mimi girl from Chapter 1?

King Sammer: Because I am Mimi you idiots! Uhh… I mean, that's not important you meanies! Anyways, the Pure Heart looking for is in that box!

Peach: …How do we know that your even King Sammer? Even though we do know you're not King Sammer?

King Sammer: ()In demonic voice() YOU BETTER OPEN THAT BOX OR ELSE I'LL KILL YOU!

Everyone: OO

()Mario switches with Peach.

()Peach: Ok, I'll open the box.

()Peach opens the box and finds a bomb.

()Peach: OO

BOOM!

()Peach: …That bomb was a dud…

King Sammer: CURSES!

King Sammer transforms into Mimi.

Mimi: ()In demonic voice() CURSE YOU! I SHALL NOW KILL YOU!

Mimi surrounds herself with rubees.

Mimi: DIE!

()Peach hides under her umbrella. Mimi throws rubees at her, but they reflect right back to her.

Mimi: 23/25HP

Mimi: …

Mimi keeps doing that but…

Mimi: 11/25HP

()Peach: Is something wrong with your brain!?

Mimi: Dummy!

Mimi throws even more rubees at ()Peach's umbrella, but the same thing keeps happening.

Mimi: 1/25HP

Everyone: …

Mimi: DIE!

Mimi flips in 3-D this time.

()Peach: …

Mimi flips back in 2-D and shoots another rubee, which reflects off of ()Peach's umbrella again.

Mimi: 0/25HP!

Mimi: Well… I was just stalling anyways.

The void grows bigger,

Mimi: Later meanies!

Mimi flips out.

()Peach: …She was just trying to stall us!!!!!!

Mario: HURRY TO KING SAMMER!

Mario and Co. try to make it to King Sammer… but at Gate 30…

Sammer Guy: I am Laughing X-Naut! …THE WORLD IS GONNA END!

It does just that. Mario and Co. are returned to Flipside.

Merlon: WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HERE!? YOU DON'T HAVE THE PURE HEART! GO BACK IN THERE!

Merlon kicks them back to Sammer's Kingdom.

Chapter 3-1: The World of Nothing

Mario: OO

Mario and Co. see nothing but blankness as far as the eye can see.

Mario: Anyways…

Mario and Co. continue on and eventually see a rock in the shape of a heart.

Tippi: GRAB THAT!

???: Too bad!

A green Koopa with one of those funny hats with a propeller and is wearing a mask appears.

Mario: …So you're the replacement Mr. L?

Koopa: Yes! I am…

The Koopa spins around and makes a pose.

Koopa: MR. C!

Mario: …So you're Mr. C?

Mr. C: Correct! And I guess I'll be taking this Pure Heart just for kicks.

()Peach: …

Mr. C: Meet my best friend! The C-Bot K-Type!

A round robot that looks like a pod with a C, shoes, and hands appears from the background.

Mr. C: Meet my best friend! The C-Bot K-Type!

Mario: You already said that…

Mr. C: Who cares?

Mr. C jumps into the C-Bot K-Type.

Mr. C: HAVE AT YOU!

The C-Bot K-Type shoots missiles, but they completely miss and go straight back to the C-Bot K-Type.

C-Bot K-Type: 59/64HP

Mr. C: Curse you!

The C-Bot K-Type activates its vacuum feature and sucks in ()Peach and spits her out.

()Peach: 15/20HP

()Peach: I got it!

()Peach uses Boomer!

Mr. C: Like that'll help! Vacuum activate!

The C-Bot K-Type tries to suck in ()Peach, but messes up completely and sucks in Boomer.

BOOM!

C-Bot K-Type: 49/64HP

Mr. C: Dang! You found out my C-Bot's weakness! Well I'm not going to use my vacuum anymore!

The C-Bot K-Type shoots another missile but ()Peach just avoids it and the missile blasts the C-Bot K-Type.

C-Bot K-Type: 44/64HP

Mario: Hey do you really have to put K-Type after C-Bot every time? We already know what type it is.

Unfortunately, I have to say K-Type after C-Bot… so…

A Thwomp falls on the C-Bot K-Type.

C-Bot K-Type: 39/64HP

Mr. C: I have a sudden urge to use my C-Bot K-Type's vacuum feature…

()Peach used Boomer!

Mr. C activates the vacuum feature! C-Bot K-Type sucks in Boomer!

C-Bot K-Type: 29/64HP

Mr. C: …Vacuum!

()Peach used Boomer!

C-Bot K-Type sucks in Boomer!

C-Bot K-Type: 19/64HP

Mr. C: Missiles!

()Peach gets hit!

()Peach: 10/20HP

()Peach bounces off of the C-Bot K-Type's shoe and manages to get on top of the head and bounce on the C-Bot K-Type to death!

C-Bot K-Type: 17/64HP 15/64HP 13/64HP 11/64HP 9/64HP 7/64HP 5/64HP 3/64HP 1/64HP 0/64HP!

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

Mr. C: Aww… my C-Bot K-Type shoots missiles! MISSILES! …And has the Letter K in the name!

BOOOOOOOOOOM!

Mr. C falls out and drops the heart shaped rock.

Mr. C: Grr… you may have been lucky this time, but lady luck will smile over Mr. C next time!

Mr. C leaves and drops the Pure Heart.

Mario: …Why is he named Mr. C?

()Peach: Possibly because we may have actually been spelling Koopa wrong… maybe it has a C instead of a K…

Mario: Anyways…

Tippi: LOOK WHAT YOU DID! The Pure Heart is lifeless!

Mario: HOW IS IT OUR FAULT!?

Tippi: You were too late to reach King Sammer you nitwit!

Mario: …

YOU GOT A PURE HEART?

Mario and Co. go back to Merlon.

Merlon: LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO THE PURE HEART!

Dimentio appears.

Dimentio: I shall help you!

Dimentio kills Mario and ()Peach.

Tippi: …

()Mario wakes up in a strange place.

()Mario: …Where am I?

Shayde: The Underwhere, the land of ended games! Also known as World -1!

()Mario: That glitch world from Super Mario Bros.?

Shayde: …Well you could say that…

()Mario continues and eventually makes it to the River Twygz.

Charold: Free ride across the River Twygz! Only 4 coins!

()Mario: You said it was free!

Charold: I lied!

()Mario pushes Charold into the River.

()Mario: …P.T. reference?

()Mario rows the boat across the river and walks to the Queen Jaydes' place.

Queen Jaydes: Greetings. May I balance your sins?

()Mario: …No…

Queen Jaydes: TOO BAD! I'm doing it anyways! … … …Were you holding something strange when you died?

()Mario: Just this…

()Mario pulls out the rock Pure Heart.

Queen Jaydes: ()Gasp() YOU RUINED THE PURE HEART!

()Mario: No I didn't!

Queen Jaydes: Yes you did! You didn't get it in time so the void destroyed Sammer's Kingdom and took the good energy from the Pure Heart! So it's your fault!

()Mario: …

Queen Jaydes: Just for that, you're staying here in the Underwhere for…

RING! RING!

Queen Jaydes: …DARN IT! Sorry, I have to take this.

()Mario: …

Queen Jaydes pulls out here cell phone.

Queen Jaydes: What is NOW Grams?

Grams (Grambi): Luvbi is missing, Bonechill escaped, and we still have a problem with commitment!

Queen Jaydes: ()Gasp() I thought we didn't have anymore problems with commitment after we went to that marriage counselor!

Grambi: …The biggest problem is Luvbi is missing you fool!

Queen Jaydes: What? You never said that!

Grambi: …You didn't memorize your script completely right?

Queen Jaydes: Was it that obvious?

Grambi: …

Queen Jaydes: Err… anyways… my D-Men are too busy! Ok!

Grambi: Fine!

Queen Jaydes: Ok. Bye… just great…

()Mario: Uhh…

Queen Jaydes: Wait… maybe you can help! A Nimbi from the Overthere went missing! She's my daughter! Can you find her? If you do, I'll do you 2 favors!

()Mario: Why 2?

Queen Jaydes: Because I'll be keeping this Pure Heart until you find Luvbi! And you have to rescue some other guy who fell in the River Twygz.

()Mario: Oh… so you want me to save this person from the River Twygz and find your daughter?

Queen Jaydes: Yes.

()Mario: Ok… wait… how is your daughter a Nimbi if you're scary looking?

Queen Jaydes: And how do you even know what Nimbi looks like?

()Mario: …I don't know…

Queen Jaydes: Then I won't answer that question!

()Mario: …

()Mario goes into the River Twygz, while swimming pass Charold…

Charold: Free ride across the River Twygz! Only 4 coins!

()Mario: But you're in the River Twygz!

Charold: I lied!

()Mario: …

()Mario continues on and eventually finds someone behind a rock.

Person behind rock: I'm scared!

()Mario: Uhh…

Person behind rock: AHHHH!!!

The person behind the rock turns out to be Luigi.

()Mario: Hi Luigi!

Luigi: Hi ()Mario!

()Mario: How did you say ()?

Luigi: How did you even know I said ()?

()Mario: Good point.

Luigi: I got killed after the author saved me for some reason!

()Mario: …Why did he save you?

Luigi: I dunno…

()Mario: …

Luigi: …Anyways, where are we?

()Mario: …You should know, you try to avoid coming here everyday.

Luigi: …The grocery store?

()Mario: …No the other place…

Luigi: The Underwhere?

()Mario: Yeah.

Luigi: …Anyways, how'd you get here?

()Mario: A psychotic jester killed me!

Luigi: Oh…

()Mario: By the way, have you seen a person named Luvbi?

Luigi: Hmm… nope! But I guess I could help you since I have loads of free time now!

Luigi joined the party!

()Luigi: Let's go!

Mario and ()Luigi continue and eventually find a Nimbi on a pipe that only ()Luigi can reach.

Nimbi: Thou art so fat and hairy! Go away!

()Luigi: …Now I know my brother Mario is fat, but I'm not!

Nimbi: Fine skinny…

()Luigi: …

Mario: Are you Luvbi?

Nimbi: Thou art correct. But thou shan't be my princes!

()Luigi: What do we do to get you down?

Luvbi: Guess my name!

Mario: …Luvbi?

Luvbi: HA! In thy face! My name shan't be… WHAT!? Nay! Nay I say! Hey! That rhymes! I shall going-eth back to my mother!

Luvbi leaves.

Mario and ()Luigi: …

Mario and ()Luigi go back to Queen Jaydes.

Luvbi: See! Thou art no princes!

Queen Jaydes: SHUT IT! And stop with that fake accent! You and the other Nimbis gave it to Stuffwell!

Luvbi: …

Queen Jaydes: So I guess you did my favor… but what about the favor about saving the guy under the River Twygz?

Mario: That would be this guy! ()Points to Luigi()

Queen Jaydes: …YOU IDIOT! That's not who I was talking about! I was talking about Charold!

Mario: …You mean the guy who always says,"Free ride across the River Twygz! Only 4 coins!"?

Queen Jaydes: Yeah that guy.

Mario: …

Mario goes back and brings back Charold's corpse.

Queen Jaydes: …Good enough… what are your 2 favors?

Mario: Can you revive the Pure Heart?

Queen Jaydes: Ok. And?

Mario: Send me and my brother back to Flipside?

Queen Jaydes: Ok.

Queen Jaydes revived the Pure Heart.

Queen Jaydes: Are you ready to go back to Flipside?

Mario: I will if you give me the Pure Heart… 

Queen Jaydes: No.

Mario: Why?

Queen Jaydes: Because you only asked me to revive it. You never said to give it back.

Mario: …

()Luigi: Don't I get 2 favors?

Queen Jaydes: Oh right. But since you asked for 2 favors, you already used one. Now what do you want?

()Luigi: The Pure Heart.

Queen Jaydes: Ok.

YOU GOT A PURE HEART!

END OF CHAPTER… wait… this is an Interlude!

Meanwhile…

Count Bleck: …Mr. C and Mimi went to try and defeat the heroes didn't they? Asked Count Bleck…

Nastasia: Yeah. But I take all the blame.

Count Bleck: Ok! Count Bleck will punish you after this meeting ends! Count Bleck said.

Nastasia: I was being sarcastic.

Count Bleck: …

Dimentio: And I killed them!

Count Bleck: …No you didn't. Anyways, I have a feeling I know Mr. C… not as a minion…

Nastasia: So what?

Count Bleck: …I don't know. Send him again later so he gets a chance to redeem himself.

Mimi: Who's Mr. C?

Nastasia: That guy in front of you…

Mr. C: Yeah! The best compared to the babies in here you call minions. No wonder they got beaten!

O'Chunks: WHAT!? I'll be showing you to my little friend Fist Jr. and his pal Wet Willy later! Your ears will perish!

Mimi: …I don't like you… and didn't you get beaten too?

Dimentio: Neither do I! And I never even fought! I call for a rebellion!

Mimi: For what?

Dimentio: I don't know. I just want to start a rebellion.

Everyone: …

Mr. C: …Anyways, I don't have any ears… and I was just scouting them.

O'Chunks: …Then make it Fist the 3rd!

Mr. C: What about Fist the 1st?

O'Chunks: On vacation!

Mimi: If you were just scouting them, why did you fight them?

Mr. C: How else will I learn their battle tactics? Anyways, I'll be heading to the C-Bot Repair Dock. C-ya!

Mr. C leaves by flipping.

Count Bleck: …Anyways, Count Bleck thinks this passage in the Dark Prognosticus is wrong. It says, "The blue one will determine whether which Prognosticus is right."

Nastasia: …I think it is. Shouldn't it say green one?

Count Bleck: …Count Bleck thinks so…

Dimentio: I only know a handful of blue people! Like… that Z-Block General from the Koopa Kingdom! Or the A-Block General from the Koopa Kingdom! Or the A-Block General from the Hair Hunt Troop! Etc.

Count Bleck: …Oh well. Count Bleck says.

Sorry, the author of the Light Prognosticus thought Green was Blue and Blue was Green, so that's why it says blue.

Count Bleck: Oh.

Seriously, who is Mr. C? Why does Count Bleck think he knows Mr. C? What is 2()2? Why am I asking these questions? Find out on Chapter 4: The Underwhere!


End file.
